A Lighthouse Perspective on Pressure, Presence, and the Way We Lead
Why This Book, Why Now
There is no shortage of stress in the world today. As leaders, as parents, as humans, we are navigating pressure from every direction. Deadlines. Expectations. Responsibilities. Relationships. And for many of us, it can feel like we are constantly trying to manage something that never fully goes away.
Which is why this book matters.
When Chris Failla first shared Re:Stress with me, one thought immediately came to mind: This is the book you didn’t know you’ve been waiting for!
Chris has a remarkable ability to speak directly to the hearts and souls of others. It is a gift, and it shows up on every page. What he offers is not theory or surface level advice. It is a practical and deeply human approach to navigating stress that every leader needs.
Because the goal is not to eliminate stress. The invitation is to learn how to lead through it.
This also marks a meaningful moment for us at Lighthouse. Re:Stress is the first project published through Lighthouse Publishing. It represents more than a book. It reflects the kind of work we want to put into the world. Work that sees the whole person. Work that is real, applicable, and rooted in how we actually live and lead.
And as a team, we did not want to just read this book. We wanted to wrestle with it.
The Premise: Reframing Stress
At its core, Re:Stress challenges the way we think about stress.
Instead of seeing it as something to avoid, suppress, or escape, Chris invites us to look at it differently. Stress is not just something happening to us. It is often revealing something within us.
Our habits. Our thought patterns. Our need for control. The stories we tell ourselves.
This is where the work begins.
At Lighthouse, we often say, “Wherever you go, there you are.” Stress has a way of making that reality undeniable. It shows up in our leadership, in our relationships, and in the quiet moments when we are left alone with our thoughts.
Reframing stress is not about pretending it is easy.
It is about taking ownership of how we respond to it.
Voices of Lighthouse: What Stood Out
As a team, we spent time reading, reflecting, and processing Re:Stress together. Below are some of the perspectives that emerged from across Lighthouse.
Chris Ferree, Managing Partner
What is one idea from Re:Stress that challenged or shifted your thinking?
Re:Stress increased my awareness that, in times of challenge, my default tendency is to withdraw, isolate, and try to “figure it out myself.” This is often paired with an internal narrative that amplifies the problem and leans pessimistic.
The book challenged my assumption that the solution is to “do less” or “create more balance” when demands exceed capacity. Instead, it reframed the answer as strengthening my support system, intentionally shifting my mindset, and inviting “SPARK” to restore energy and perspective.
Where are you seeing this show up in your life or leadership right now?
Honestly, it’s showing up almost everywhere. A more accurate question for me right now is: “Where is it not?”
This awareness is expanding my learning zone, helping me recognize moments in real time when I begin to withdraw or internalize pressure, and giving me the opportunity to choose a different response.
What is one practice or takeaway you are actively applying?
The concept of “Quantum Calendaring” resonates deeply. It’s shifting how I view my schedule, not just as a tool for productivity, but as a reflection of priorities and energy stewardship.
I’m beginning to approach my calendar with greater intentionality, protecting space for what restores and sustains me, not just what demands my time.
Sarah Failla, Executive Coach (and loving wife)
What is one idea from Re:Stress that challenged or shifted your thinking?
I used to feel stressed about stress – like it was something I needed to avoid or get rid of. One of the biggest shifts has been learning to see stress differently – that stress isn’t just something to manage, but something that can strengthen and support us.
Understanding what can be forged through it and what might be lost without it has completely changed the way I relate to stress.
Where are you seeing this show up in your life or leadership right now?
Demands aren’t going anywhere. Personally, we have a full life with two kids at home, one in college, two working adults, and a lot of people and things we care deeply about.
At the same time, Chris, my husband, has been walking through one of the deepest seasons of grief in his life, and this book was pushed over the finish line in the midst of that.
To me, that is the message in action. Life is going to life. It is not about waiting for things to slow down or everything to be perfectly aligned. It is about building the capacity to hold what is here AND continue to show up for what matters.
That is where I see this work playing out most clearly right now, and this book can resource people to do the same in their own lives.
What is one practice or takeaway you are actively applying?
There are so many practical tools in this book, but one I keep coming back to is the “Lost and Gained” exercise. It is incredibly powerful, not just for major life transitions, but for everyday moments of change.
Sometimes we cannot fully put into words what is going on inside of us, and this gives us a place to start.
It has been a meaningful tool for me in navigating transitions and understanding what is happening internally, especially in harder seasons.
Jim Ferree, Leadership Facilitator/Coach
What is one idea from Re:Stress that challenged or shifted your thinking?
It is interesting that when we think of a lighthouse shining its light outward to worried sailors to offer assurance, Re:Stress offers another perspective. Stress shines light inward, to help us, and not to hurt us. Stress builds strength, character, and resolve within us; or at least it can. Re:Stress helps readers see that inward shining light so they can navigate through daily pressures. It provides a warning signal to our system and shows us what and to where we need to give attention. It shows us our capacity.
Where are you seeing this show up in your life or leadership right now?
As Lighthouse leaders, we are expected to bring our authentic selves into each room we facilitate and to every person we coach. We are not impervious to stress, and the more we seek personal growth, the more we experience stress. That is how growth occurs. Being vulnerable about our challenges builds connections. It displays our humanity. We do not lead from a position of perfection, and we need grace, time, and patience to grow as all need it. Re:Stress reminds me to lead with grace.
What is one practice or takeaway you are actively applying?
As one who spent almost 26 years in law enforcement, I found stress to be an inevitable part of my job. But I also observed the stress that others had to experience due to unfortunate circumstances, many of which they were not prepared for.
I thought I understood stress, and viewed it as the hidden enemy that would eventually erode my inner life. Chris, and his wife, Sarah, helped me discover the intersection between joy and pain. They helped me recognize that stepping into that intersection has been the pathway for much joy in my life, though it has also caused some pain.They helped see the blessing those extreme moments of stress brought not only me, but others through their journey of pain and stress. They helped me understand how stress can be a gift and an opportunity. They helped understand that both joy and pain are understood best through the lens of our experiences.
Chris dives deep into this paradox, at the intersection of joy and pain. Stress is not our enemy. It is an invitation to explore, understanding that the obstacle is not in the way, it is the way.
Brianna Donovan, Behind-the-Scenes Ops
What is one idea from Re:Stress that challenged or shifted your thinking?
I have always been under the impression that I needed to “do, do, do” in order to feel less stressed. If I could just check enough boxes, I would somehow get ahead of it. After diving into Chris’ book, I am realizing that approach doesn’t actually change anything. Stress isn’t going anywhere, so the real work is learning how to shift my relationship with it.
One of the biggest shifts for me has been moving from asking, “How do I get through this?” to “What might this be showing me?” That small change invites curiosity instead of resistance, and it has started to change the way I experience my day-to-day life.
Where are you seeing this show up in your life or leadership right now?
With three active daughters, a husband who travels often, and my role at Lighthouse, life feels full in all the ways.
What I am noticing is that a lot of my stress is connected to the things I care most about. Instead of trying to eliminate it, or even stressing about being stressed, I am learning to reframe it. To slow down, get present, and choose how I want to show up in those moments instead of just reacting to everything on my plate.
What is one practice or takeaway you are actively applying?
I am actively applying the “Delight, Delay, Delegate, or Drop” framework when I look at my to-do list. It has been such a helpful way to create clarity and reduce the pressure I tend to put on myself to do everything all at once, or even all on my own.
I also love that it’s practical enough to share with our daughters. It’s given us a simple, tangible way to talk about stress as a family and to help them start building their own awareness around how they respond to it.
For me, it’s less about managing everything perfectly and more about creating small moments of intention in the middle of a full life.
Laura Jangaard, Coach & Strategic Sidekick
What is one idea from Re:Stress that challenged or shifted your thinking?
One of the biggest shifts for me was the idea that the opposite of stress is trust. That reframed so much of how I think about stress, leadership, and even relationships. Instead of viewing stress as simply something to avoid or eliminate, the book challenged me to see it as a signal that something deeper may need attention, whether that’s trust, support, margin, connection, or compassion. It also shifted the way I think about growth. Stress does not always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it means we are stretching, becoming, and being invited to grow our capacity.
Where are you seeing this show up in your life or leadership right now?
I see this showing up most in how I think about sustainable leadership and the way we carry ourselves and others through stressful seasons. Between raising two young kids, marriage, and my role at Lighthouse, life can feel very full in this season. One of the concepts that really stayed with me was the movement from “SAFE” to “Sparked.” Over the last few months, I’ve realized I’ve spent a lot of time rebuilding, regaining energy, and creating stronger support systems, and I can also feel moments where that Spark is returning.
What is one practice or takeaway you are actively applying?
One practice I’ve been actively applying is paying closer attention to the stories I tell myself when I feel overwhelmed. The chapter on moving from negative stories to neutral before trying to jump to positive thinking really stood out to me. Instead of immediately spiraling into “this is too much,” I’ve been trying to pause and ask more grounded questions like, “What support do I need right now?” or “What is actually mine to carry?”
I’ve also become more intentional about protecting margin and paying attention to the things that genuinely refill my energy and reconnect me to my Spark so I can show up more present, grounded, and intentional in the areas of life that matter most.
Patterns We Are Noticing
As we reflected on these responses as a team, a few patterns began to emerge.
It stood out to us that very few of our reflections were actually about eliminating stress. Instead, many of us found ourselves talking about trust, support, capacity, margin, relationships, and the stories we tell ourselves in the middle of pressure. Again and again, stress seemed to reveal something deeper underneath the surface, whether that was fear, purpose, exhaustion, growth, or the tension between who we are today and who we are becoming.
Another pattern we noticed was how often stress is connected to the things we care about most. Family, leadership, meaningful work, relationships, growth, and responsibility all showed up repeatedly throughout these reflections. Rather than framing stress as failure or weakness, many of us found ourselves reframing it as an invitation to pay attention, grow capacity, and become more intentional about how we lead ourselves and others.
We also noticed a common movement away from striving and toward presence. Across the responses, there was a shared desire not just to “manage” life more efficiently, but to lead and live more sustainably, with greater awareness, compassion, margin, and connection. That shift feels especially important in a culture that often rewards constant busyness while quietly disconnecting us from ourselves and each other.
Perhaps the biggest takeaway for us as a team is this: stress is deeply human. It is not something that disqualifies us from leadership, growth, or healthy relationships. In many ways, it may actually be one of the very things that shapes them.
From Insight to Application
Reading a book like Re:Stress is valuable.
Applying it is where transformation begins.
As you reflect on your own life and leadership, consider the following:
- Where is stress currently showing up for you?
- What might it be revealing, not just what is it causing?
- How are you currently responding to it?
- What would it look like to lead through it instead of avoid it?
You do not need to have all the answers…Awareness is a powerful place to start.
Why This Matters for Leadership AND Life
One of the things we believe deeply at Lighthouse is that leadership is not confined to a title or a role.
It is how we show up everywhere.
In our work.
In our homes.
In our relationships.
In the quiet moments no one else sees.
Stress does not stay in one lane. It follows us. Which means the way we navigate it matters everywhere.
You cannot separate the leader from the human.
And you were never meant to.
Honoring Chris and the Vision of Lighthouse Publishing
We are incredibly proud of Chris Failla for the work he has done in bringing Re:Stress to life.
This book is a reflection of who he is. Honest. Practical. Deeply human. Grounded in real experience, not just theory.
It also represents the beginning of something bigger.
Lighthouse Publishing exists to bring voices like Chris’s into the world. Voices that do not just inform, but transform. Voices that meet people where they are and invite them into something more.
This is just the beginning. We will be featuring Chris on the 6/1 episode of our new podcast: “Leadership, AND…”
Closing Thought
Stress is not going away.
But our relationship with it can change.
The question is not whether you will experience stress.
The question is how you will respond when it shows up.
Will you resist it?
Avoid it?
Or will you allow it to reveal something that helps you grow?
Clarity matters.
And as we often say, clear is kind.
Call to Action
If you have not yet read Re:Stress, we would encourage you to.
You can find it here.
Take your time with it. Reflect on it. Talk about it with the people around you.
And most importantly, pay attention to what it reveals.
We would also love to hear from you.
What is one way stress is shaping you right now?
